Existential Crisis

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Picture credits: Paolo Ræli

 

Suddenly you feel your soul

Caving in on itself.

It gets hard to breathe;

This life, too difficult to live in.

And nobody knows;

Nobody knows how you suddenly

Lose the will to live;

The urge to exist suddenly scraped away.

 

And even if they ask you, what will you say?

How do you say,

That if you could cease to exist

At this very moment

You wouldn’t think twice.

That if you had the chance to

Silently vanish into oblivion

Without leaving a trace

You would gladly take it.

 

You’re just going through the motions

Again, and again, and again.

The wheels slowly turning at snail’s pace.

But nothing ever moves,

You’re stuck in the same place.

As if someone froze your heartbeat

And put it on display.

 

The walls you’re trapped within,

Rush forward to suffocate you.

While you reach a profound awareness

Of how big this world is.

And you small, so small.

Will you ever find your place?

Will you ever feel larger than life?

 

You wonder,

Does this misery have any end?

And is the end of this misery

More miserable than the misery itself?

You don’t know.

You’ve never cared about how things end.

You’ve always focused on the start.

But this life is moving too slow,

And time too fast.

You want it to stop.

Not end, just stop.

 

 

Sitting on your bed,

Shrouded in darkness you wonder:

What do these strangers see in me

That I don’t see in myself?

What am I missing?

Do they see the bigger picture?

And if they do, can they tell me

What is my part in all of it?

What is my purpose in this life?

Why was I sent here on this Earth at this time?

Why do I breathe, and break,

And breathe, and break

Everyday

Only to fall apart again?

 

©Shreya Pandey, 2016

 


 

Writing this reminded me how therapeutic the art of writing can be. 

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Existential Crisis

  1. Ayush Chelani says:

    Test of Time

    Tired & Lost,
    You enter into the dark,
    Same question and same thoughts,
    Punching your heart beats fast!!
    Place has started haunting you,
    Walls staring have started taunting you!!
    Was this the same place where you had your wonders of joy,
    Which now shames you when alone you cry??
    You eat, You laugh, You walk, You sleep,
    But still you can’t figure out what’s there inside that still weep!!
    With the age, the bar of expectations is growing,
    The society, the parents and if left with any relevance your own dreams are reaping
    The will to do, the will to prove is dyeing,
    While there is something inside still crying
    You shall stand you shall fight,
    You shall stand up to this plight,
    You shall end up bright
    It’s all a game of time my son,
    Nobody fought the very first battle and won
    It takes calm and composure,
    It takes time to forget someone closer,
    It’s the test of time,
    Adapt it, make it a rhyme,
    Destiny pushes you three steps back,
    Come forward dancing 4 steps, trust me son that’s the crack!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. titasnandi says:

    This was actually a good read! And I really appreciate this non-rhyming form of poetry (write some myself!), because you don’t get caught in the words, and can simply flow with your emotions! Keep writing! Checkout the poem “Lost Dreams” on my blog, very similar dilemmas of existential crisis! You might like it.
    Keep writing! 🙂

    Like

  3. Dhruv Shah says:

    A very nice piece. I really like your works, bookmarking the blog right away.! I write some too, and pieces like these keep me motivated.
    A big thank you, and happy new year!
    Cheers 😀

    Like

  4. utkarshs92 says:

    Quite thoughtful. I could connect with this poem and relate it (especially the lines – What do these strangers see in me…That I don’t see in myself?…What am I missing?…Do they see the bigger picture?…And if they do, can they tell me) to my present situation.

    Like

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